Football keeps interrupting the Commercials

First of all, audience, I have been very busy  as my business is exploding upwards, not inwards, hence I haven’t time to write this blog, so,  to all two of you, I thank you for your concern.


Watching football yesterday…well, actually I watched the commercials which they kept interrupting for short snippets of NFL football….. these two ads come to mind and I may add them to my Fantasy Advertising League card.


1. Burger King now serves breakfast which I guess is a big deal if you’re feeling the need to vomit early in the day …. and the drug store is out of Ipecac.


To entice you into their stores for breakfast, their never-ending TV ad campaign consists of an very homely , ugly, gawky, awkward , stupid looking moax  playing the flute enticing you, like a call to arms for the Redcoats of 1778, into the store.

Kind of like The Pied Piper enticing the rats in Hamelin…to Burger King for breakfast. Hmmmm. Yeah, I’m there.

The BK guy is so ugly you can almost smell him and why he would be so excited over this tiny bowl of food is beyond me. Well, beats masturbating, I guess…plus he gets fresh air, a little walk.  I’d never go anywhere on this flute-playing dork’s recommendation.

Whatever happened to  average or better-than -average looking  people; folks like me,  endorsing products……. particularly food. It’s like having a leper endorsing bran flakes..

2. Speaking of Redcoats 

explain to me why during the Colts-Chiefs game yesterday, they kept playing the same Ford commercial, sometimes twice per break,. You know which one….The Redcoats suddenly being attacked  by a Ford Truck driving ‘George Washington’ because , as the ad says, America got two things right, Cars and Freedom“.

I understand that Dick Cheney is protesting the ad, ‘Yeah, they make good trucks, but what’s this freedom bullshit?”

Tonight The Vikings play The Jets in between commercials  and I am looking forward to finding out if any more white people follow The Pied Piper of Burger King  to his lair. Maybe once they do, we’ll be rid of them all come the dawn.

Published in: on October 11, 2010 at 9:12 am  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Down on the “Pharma”

Remember when only doctors knew about prescription drugs and they’d write out the slip and you’d go down to the pharmacy and the pharmacist would hand you the drug based on his expertise  which included ” counting to 100″ .  

Now we have commercials aimed at the consumer telling us all about prescription drugs ….just like they’re a commodity item, like hair conditioner or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups …just as though we can buy them without permission.

 Who do they think we are ? Rush Limbaugh.

 Reminds me of when I was a kid and the ad would come on TV  for Chocolate Covered Sugar Plus cereal and I’d have to go ask Mommy to buy me some after seeing the commercial 20x an hour and noting it’s nutritious value.

 Now that I’m all grown up, seems I still have to ask a responsible adult ….or my doctor …… for permission to buy something advertised. That’s not fair!  

And from what I can tell from the images, the Mad Men are hard at work because the images usually have nothing to do with the product.

 For example, an ad for a rheumatoid arthritis drug shows a woman buying a pair of pretty, red, flat-heeled shoes. That’s what I originally thought  that the ad was for…a pill for good looking woman who have trouble picking out shoes.

 Then, there was one that showed an African American lady who owned an antique store and after she  takes the pill advertised, she’s able to invite white “window shoppers”  into the store  to happily buy an antique glass vase……..which I didn’t even know was a disease.

I guess African American ladies have trouble inviting white ‘window shoppers’ into their stores ….. and the drug helps. I never knew that. God bless medical science.

 Oh wait, the drug was an anti-depressant, so I  guess the point of the ad was 

1. the anti-depressant works

2. she no longer needed a lobotomy

3. and hence ,she now can reduce the price of the vase because she could charge less for it,  since she no longer had to pay for the lobotomy.

In the world of  BIG PHARMA, we call it a ‘win-win’.

 Most of both ads were devoted to some guy reading a list of SIDE EFFECTS which took more time to read than if he read a list of  War Dead from The Crusades.

My favorite side effect  was “may cause fatal illness” which I think was stuck between ” itchy rash on hands” and “ minor genital swelling” . 

Just goes to show you that the drug companies are rolling in dough and need something else to write off  rather than “Executive retreat in Greenbrier”.  

And please, I don’t mean to be frivolous about these drugs. You should think about leaving some or all of your estate to the drug companies . Give generously now …. because someday you may be the white couple who really wants the antique  glass vase…..and your dollars today can make that happen .