Good God !

What a hysterical Easter weekend .

 Both Jesus and tempers seem to be rising as The Catholic Church ,aka “NAMBLA in vestments”  looks to protect their favorite former Hitler Youth.

  The Pope’s personal chaplain, The Right Reverend Ben Dover,declared  at Good Friday services at The Vatican yesterday  that (to paraphrase) blaming the Pope for the sex abuse scandal (even though he knew about pretty much all of it and did nothing, allowing abuse to happen again and again) is just like  anti-Semitism ( hating a group for the sake of hatingi.e., Blaming people , any people, who carry no responsibility for what you’re blaming them for).

 

 In another use of this logic he also believes that blaming John Wilkes Booth for the assassination of Lincoln is the same as genocide in Armenia .

 Since basically everybody went nuts at that statement by the imbecilic, self-serving putz who said it, the church is now saying that it is not the official stance of the Vatican.

That’s true !  

The official stance is on your knees with your ass in the air.

In other Happy Easter news,

way down in the Phillipines, 23 screwballs nailed themselves to crosses  so they could suffer like Jesus who, I am sure, given the choice would have rather spent the day at the mall. And at “Canal Number Two,Guyana”, a 15 year old  died after a local pastor tried to exorcise the demons causing her convulsions.

Well, they did stop the convulsions.

 

And in other movie/God news, most critics gave the remake of  “CLASH OF THE TITANS’ (the new 3-D movie) absolutely terrible reviews.

Why?

Obviously because its a religious film ….about ancient Greek Gods, though it shows a certain modern religious sensitivity opening on Good Friday.

Just so you know, the film is based on Greek mythology … about the Titans who were Greek Gods overthrown by the Olympians  in the Olympian’s quest for power. The Titans were a race of powerful deities …and they were the descendants of Gaia and Uranus,

 And so , on this Easter weekend, we see how most religions are inter-linked , considering that the story of “Uranus” 

opened on a Catholic holiday weekend..

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Gimme that ol’ time religion

Nine alleged members of a Christian militia were arrested 

the other day as they girded up for battle against some non-Christian forces, like those well-known anti-Christians, the police .

  

Their goal, in the name of Christianity, was to kill a cop and then blow up many, many more at the police officer’s funeral.

 Sadly, Jesus didn’t exactly apply for membership in the group.

 What seems to have set them off is the new Healthcare law which , for all it’s goofy flaws, has a stated purpose of caring for everybody ; something  which Jesus probably would have approved of…..He being his brother’s keeper and a rather caring individual, what with taking over the family business and all.  So, in the name of Jesus , these creeps are angry as hell because they’d have to take care of their brothers and sisters.

 And so, once again, the total illogic of religion comes to mind.

 It’s a big week for religions of all sorts..

 For example, yesterday was the first day of Passover when Jews are reminded that there was ,in fact, a great leader of men …..named  Cecil B. DeMille who directed  The Ten Commandments. the 1956 flick starring the one and only Charlton Heston as Moses who led the Jews from Egypt ……..who then trumped around  for forty years in a teeny tiny geographical area before stumbling on The Promised Land which was maybe forty five miles away from where they started. Hence we learn that the Jews were never good with directions.

  I went to a non-denominational ‘seder’ last night because I will sit through anything for briskit. We went through the usual bullshit. The seder has been updated recently since a) the Jews now control Jerusalem for which we prayed to return to ; the traditional ending of the seder being  “Next year in Jerusalem” and b) we all recognized that the Jews are are no longer slaves, unless you’re one who invested with Bernie Madoff.

 We were also  reminded that it isn’t just us that we are ‘seder’ing’ for, but for all the people who are controlled by others and forced to live a crappy  life under the control of others, without ever mentioning  the poor Palestinians who are 2nd class citizens in their own land because Israel is a land grabbing theocracy. But again, it’s the briskit that matters!

 And on that note, it’s Catholic Holy Week

, or as this year’s motto clearly states, “Lets put the rat back in Ratzinger”. 

 

Yep, Pope BendaDICK, (the former Cardinal Ratzinger and head pederast), commented that the Milwaukee perversions on deaf boys by that creepy son of a bitch priest, now deceased, in America’s Dairyland was just a “frivolous rumor”. He said this because, after carefully reading the scriptures, he realized that he’s the bastard who covered it all up. 

Hmmm, maybe the Pope’s team, his men in black 

 should, instead of raping kids, masturbate more often. Take the pressure off, so to speak.

I sent them a slogan for this year’s Easter Parade,

“Let’s put the Palm back in Palm Sunday”,

but I never heard a word back.

They must be busy coloring eggs.

 

 

Heroes of Hypocrisy

I love religion.

I love it’s hypocrisy in “de name of de Lawd” 

  

Use it to excuse anything.  

I have Jewish friends who are very religious and also very liberal….wouldn’t think of a woman as unequal under any circumstance, but one…..  their religion.

For example, at The Wailing Wall in Jerusalem  

, they’ll line up in separate lines at this holiest of shrines which is , fyi, a wall, because there are different sections of the wall available for each sex. I guess the women’s section ( which is much smaller) uses stone-like Contac paper over wallboard.

Don’t you dare discriminate against their daughters in this world though.

But I’m tellin’ ya’, if the Jewish religion is hypocritical, at best they’re The Chicago Cubs of hypocrisy.

The Catholics, believe me, are The Yankees. 

  

On the front page of today’s Boston Globe , there’s a big story about how Catholics rarely go to confession anymore. Yes, here in the epicenter of the American child abuse cases, good olde Bahhhstahhn, …

 ( BTW,  we’re good, but we don’t hold a candle to Ireland)

….The Archdiocese is making a big effort to get their flock to come back to the confessional.

  .     

  YEP, THEY WANT YOU TO CONFESS!

Why that’s just like The Reverend Ted Haggard telling you not to be gay.

See, in the same front section of today’s Boston Globe ,

 they have this article

 “POPE’S BROTHER KNEW OF BEATINGS”.

  Seems that Pope Bendadick’s bro, German Reverend Georg Ratzinger ( Man, were their parents fucked up or what?) once said he was unaware of physical and sexual abuse at Catholic-run schools all over Germany,  particularly at the famous boys choir that he led, The “Regensburger Domspatzen Choir” where, it turns out, sexual and physical abuse was common.

Oopsies , turns out that he was aware .

.

 FYI, for those of you who do not speak German as well as I do , “Regensburger Domspatzen” translates to, ” Let me stick mein franfurter up your tuchas, mein leibschkin, and don’t tell Mommy ,

Just yesterday he said that the boys would open up to him but he ” did not have the feeling that he should do anything about it.”

And who can blame him?

Wait, I know…..EVERYBODY!

So a big Mazeltov to Mr. and Mrs. Ratzinger

, their mom and dad, who  raised two great kids.

Remember their other boy is none other than Pope Bendadick himself and he (dressed in a new Easter bonnet, above) was the  person at The Vatican most responsible  for keeping the whole sordid mess a secret worldwide for all the years before they named him Pope. 

HE JUST COULDN’T CONFESS.

BROTHER GEORG COULDN’T CONFESS EITHER.

THEY WERE JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS, A FINE GERMAN TRAIT. 

BUT YOU SHOULD CONFESS.

 GO AHEAD.

 IT WON’T BE BAAAA’D AT ALL.