Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s new best girlfriend

So Obama nominates a “Lainie”  for The Supreme Court ,
Lainie Kagan.
 
 
 
No, that ain’t her.
That’s Lainie Kazan whose birthday coincidentally  is today, May 15th.
 This is the nominee, Elena Kagan.
 
 Gertrude Berg redux 
 
That’s not so bad actually. Gertrude Berg, whom probably 3% of you ever heard of, was a major media force from the 1920’s on radio through to 1962.  She died in 1966 when, I believe, she acccidentally ingested one of my mother’s matzohballs.
Most of the time , women outlive their men, but in her case, her husband  lived another 20 years. He probably enjoyed the quiet.
 
There’s an old joke about the kid who comes home from Hebrew School and proudly tells his parents over dinner  that he got a role in the school play .
 
 His mom asks , “What role did they give you?”.
 
The kid responds, “I play the role of the Jewish husband.”.
 
His dadasks, “How come they didn’t give you a speaking role?”
 
 
  I can imagine the upcoming Kagan confirmation herrings, er  hearings since its so hard for the ‘Pubs to find something she’s written or decided.
 She’ll handle it….
 
“Tutelah, who care’s if you’re orange?
 So they won’t stop abortions. Here, have some soup. We’ll talk , you’ll vote and by the way, I have to ask , why are you orange? Who do you think you are changing skin color, Michael Johnson?”
 
 
 
The hearings should be interesting as the Republican’s push their Marxist agenda with their Marxist motto  ,
 
 Whatever it is, I’m against it 
  
 as sung by Mr. Marx himself  (above) in “Horsefeathers”
 
 If they can’t find any bad stuff, they’ll harp on the fact that she didn’t say much and that they can’t find anything. See, ‘harp’ing…. 
 
 more Marxism !

But I guess silence can be golden. It’s worth noting that their favorite Great Black Dope, Sooo-preme Court Justice  Clarence Thomas has yet to say even a single word from the bench in the 20 years he’s been on it .

Rumor has it that he did once.
In 1999 at a meeting , after 8 years on the bench, he finally said two words, “Bench Hard” and legend has it that Justice Rehnquist told him to stop bitching all the time.
He’s been quiet ever since
 
 
It should be great theater as my favorite flock of self-serving spineless , boneless chickens  aka The US Senate, grills her intensely .
 
Reminds me of the old joke about the old Jewish lady who asks the kosher butcher for a chicken.  
He hands her a dead , skinned chicken…
 
and she proceeds to sniff  under the chicken’s wings, opens it beak and sniffs,  and then turns it over  and sniffs it’s crotch.
 
She hands it back to the butcher and says in her Yiddish accent, “I don’t want this chicken. It’s rotten!”
 
The butcher takes it back and says,
“No problem Lady , just one question…could you pass that test?”
 
Good morning, Senator…could you ?
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Lost VeriZons

There’s an old joke:

How do you cure a Jewish nymphomaniac?

Answer: Marry her.

 In other words, be careful what you wish for ! 

Here’s another old one , from Groucho Marx,

  “I’d never join any group that would have me as a member!”

 And here’s a newer joke:

 How do you become  a Verizon “Elite” customer ?

Answer: Don’t become a customer of Verizon!

 THE BACKGROUND

In a miracle comparable only to The Red Sea parting,

our current phone, cable  and Internet provider , Comcast, actually came through as I stuck with them while my phone and Internet went off  8 x  over 21 days and after 7 – count ’em – 7 service calls, they amazingly  fixed it … and  gave us  a very heavily discounted month for our troubles , just as they should have, complete with the direct phone numbers of their advanced customer service agents should troubles start again. God bless Kim!.

 But since we were never sure that they could fix it,  we had also called verizon,

 their competitor, and arranged a full installation ( phone, Internet, cable)  for March 1.

 But Comcast fixed it for good so far and so  , just yesterday, we called Verizon and cancelled the installation with an agent who I am sure looked just like this

.

 BUT THEN….. like magic  we were immediately switched from that agent to  an ‘Elite customer’service agent who I’m sure looked like this …

and who sweetly asked ,  “Since you are an “elite customer” , what can we do to get your business?”.

 Well, since they asked, we suggested a course of action that was ,ahem, favorable to us…and they said they’d get back to us.

But,  here’s the dilemma…I’m not a Verizon customer and I know that the instant that I become a customer of Verizon , I will immediately lose my ELITE  status as a Verizon customer because I would then be a Verizon customer  ……. and frankly, I have come to enjoy my ELITE customer status because I’m not one.

 

 Verizon trucks which used to whiz by now stop and ask if I need anything at the grocery store. The other day a technician showed up unexpectedly and asked if we needed any jars opened .  A few others offered to walk the dog and if it snows tomorrow, they promised to come shovel. We already have our invite to the Verizon July 4th picnic and they’re going to drive us over and take us back in the bucket on their bucket truck.

  Wheeeeeee.

 I like being an ELITE customer.

Good customer service is so rare.

Too bad they don’t use it on the customers.

Published in: on February 23, 2010 at 8:22 am  Comments (3)  
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