Gimme that ol’ time religion

Nine alleged members of a Christian militia were arrested 

the other day as they girded up for battle against some non-Christian forces, like those well-known anti-Christians, the police .

  

Their goal, in the name of Christianity, was to kill a cop and then blow up many, many more at the police officer’s funeral.

 Sadly, Jesus didn’t exactly apply for membership in the group.

 What seems to have set them off is the new Healthcare law which , for all it’s goofy flaws, has a stated purpose of caring for everybody ; something  which Jesus probably would have approved of…..He being his brother’s keeper and a rather caring individual, what with taking over the family business and all.  So, in the name of Jesus , these creeps are angry as hell because they’d have to take care of their brothers and sisters.

 And so, once again, the total illogic of religion comes to mind.

 It’s a big week for religions of all sorts..

 For example, yesterday was the first day of Passover when Jews are reminded that there was ,in fact, a great leader of men …..named  Cecil B. DeMille who directed  The Ten Commandments. the 1956 flick starring the one and only Charlton Heston as Moses who led the Jews from Egypt ……..who then trumped around  for forty years in a teeny tiny geographical area before stumbling on The Promised Land which was maybe forty five miles away from where they started. Hence we learn that the Jews were never good with directions.

  I went to a non-denominational ‘seder’ last night because I will sit through anything for briskit. We went through the usual bullshit. The seder has been updated recently since a) the Jews now control Jerusalem for which we prayed to return to ; the traditional ending of the seder being  “Next year in Jerusalem” and b) we all recognized that the Jews are are no longer slaves, unless you’re one who invested with Bernie Madoff.

 We were also  reminded that it isn’t just us that we are ‘seder’ing’ for, but for all the people who are controlled by others and forced to live a crappy  life under the control of others, without ever mentioning  the poor Palestinians who are 2nd class citizens in their own land because Israel is a land grabbing theocracy. But again, it’s the briskit that matters!

 And on that note, it’s Catholic Holy Week

, or as this year’s motto clearly states, “Lets put the rat back in Ratzinger”. 

 

Yep, Pope BendaDICK, (the former Cardinal Ratzinger and head pederast), commented that the Milwaukee perversions on deaf boys by that creepy son of a bitch priest, now deceased, in America’s Dairyland was just a “frivolous rumor”. He said this because, after carefully reading the scriptures, he realized that he’s the bastard who covered it all up. 

Hmmm, maybe the Pope’s team, his men in black 

 should, instead of raping kids, masturbate more often. Take the pressure off, so to speak.

I sent them a slogan for this year’s Easter Parade,

“Let’s put the Palm back in Palm Sunday”,

but I never heard a word back.

They must be busy coloring eggs.

 

 

Advertisements

1906 San Francisco Earthquake survivor found alive in rubble

  

 “Things have certainly changed”, said 121 year old Mrs. Edna Trelawny after being found alive under the floorboards of a newly-renovated Starbucks, ‘Why are all those men holding hands?” 

 

Declared “just fine except for water deprivation, no food and the aging process”, she gave thanks to Jesus whom she laughingly said , “was just a kid of 1900 when I last saw him”.

Wolf Blitzer contends its a “miracle” and asked her what she was going to do next, she said, “Go back to work at The Triangle Shirtwaist Company in NY. At least, there it’s safe” 

 

Published in: on January 21, 2010 at 12:39 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , ,