“Lasell”-out: report on academia

 Considering that my last blog was about colleges,here’s more news concerning those  noble institutions of higher learning.

 

 After an investigation by the Commonwealth , Lasell College, a small college in Newton MA, has to return $191,000.00 to students because their stinking , rotten admissions/financial aid  department accepted gifts from Citizen’s Bank  from 2003 to 2007  and, in return,  told students that they HAD TO borrow money through CITIZEN’S BANK  even though other lenders were  offering lower rates.

  And, as part of their new ethics curriculum and in their never-ending attempt to show their students what the ‘real world’ is like, Lasell hasn’t fired a single member of their admissions/financial aid  department.

 In response to a question as to why they haven’t been canned, Lasell administration said, “Go fuck yourself. We’re academia.”

 So I went to their website to investigate .

  Here’s a quote from the website ” Each of the nearly 1600 students, and the numerous faculty, staff, and alumni undoubtedly has a different answer to “Why Lasell?”, but they share the conviction that the College is an exciting place to learn, teach, discover your passions, and prepare yourself for future success. We invite you to read on to discover how current students, alumni, parents, and faculty answer the question “Why Lasell?”

  In my own investigation I went to Lasell and asked one of the students on  their diverse campus; a student named Osama Capone  , “Why Lasell? ” to find out for myself

and he answered,

” Dude,  My passion  is to get what I can when I can and so I think that Lasell is perfect for today’s society as it  prepares students like me  for a world where pretty much everyone in business is an untrustworthy douchebag who’ll stab you in the back whenever possible. I plan to do that too.

  Personally, while working as an intern in our ‘admissions and financial aid department’ I’ve learned that if  I kiss enough ass, like our admissions/financial aid department did, I probably won’t even be fired. Did I mention , by the way, how the administration here is such a caring bunch of individuals? They’re terrific. That’s why I, as an intern in the financial aid department, smoke $6.00 cigars , get lots of free blow jobs from whores and eat a lot of steak. And I’m only a sophomore . That’s ‘Why Lasell? ‘ for me”

 After college, Osama hopes to work for The Bank of Kabul. 

Brown vs. Bored of Martha Coakley

 
      
  
Webeneezer, a Massachusetts resident,  suggests that you not  feel sorry for Martha Coakley. She’s still the Massachusetts  Attorney General , she took the last three weeks off, and she even got a soft drink endorsement after her loss .
 
 It’s a new soft drink named after her  called
COKE-LEY ZERO
 
and once you drink it you become a self -assured, bad campaigner who dropped 30 points in the last three weeks of a special election during which you went on vacation to  the Caribbean ( not Haiti)  , didn’t even hire a pollster for your campaign and , in fact, didn’t even campaign.
 
Scott Brown was right.
 It wasn’t Ted Kennedy’s seat. It was the people’s seat.
So the people gave it to Brown who ran a brilliant campaign.
He did.
Good for him!
Now we’ll see what Brown will do for us!
Published in: on January 20, 2010 at 1:22 pm  Leave a Comment  
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On 1/19/…Webeneezer’s Poem

On Election Day , heres to Scott Brown….. Running for Senate , he ain’t no clown…. his wife’s a TV reporter ….Making more than she ought’r ….and he’s suddenly  the toast of the town.

He’s very charismatic….he knew election wasn’t automatic…..he actually went out and around…… while his opponent Martha Coakley ….. thought the seat was not revokely .. ..Cause it was Teddy’s, who lies in the ground.

Everybody thinks here in Massachusetts we’re a Democratic state but we’re the folks who gave you Mitt Romney, or as he’s known in ‘Batman’….”Two Face.

Remember ?

He’s the guy who is from Massachusetts, was our governor, lives in Belmont , MA where he raised his family, still lives there, became our ex-guv and first thing he said as he campaigned in the south, “I’m glad to be out of Massachusetts and back in America”. May his Mormon balls shrivel under his magic undies like his campaign did.

Surprise.! The last almost twenty years of governors have been Republicans here. And our current gov, one Deval Patrick (his name is actually Eval, the D stands for Democrat) faces a real battle for -re-election. Patrick was the test run for Obama, a fine , articulate, professional in every way and an  African American. We endured “Together we Can” long before David Axelrod  shared it with the world as  “Yes we can”.

Brown says he’s an independent Republican. I was undecided until almost the end, but when “The National Organization for Marraige”  called me on his behalf, I decided to hold my  nose and vote for  his opponent , Martha Coakley today.

Independent Republican……Obviously , ‘he’s an oxy-MORON.

Published in: on January 19, 2010 at 12:59 pm  Leave a Comment  
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