Are you ready to bumble ???

In the great state of Connecticut, 

  fighting  ( literally in a steel cage death match ) to represent the good people  of that state in the United States Senate are 

In the Republican primary


 with a long successful history in Congress fighting hard for the good people of Connecticut

,Congressman RRRRRRRrrrrrr-ob Simmons 


the current front runner,

buying her way in with no political experience ,

in the far corner ,

none other than

Mrs .World Wrestling Entertainment herself, 

spending $50 million of her own money to win a $150,000.00 a year job

Lovable  Linnnnnnn-daaaaaaaaa MacMahonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Linda is Vince Macmahon’s wife of pro-wrestling fame.

She is  shown below readying for a debate with Congressman Simmons


 as she tries to overcome the ‘negativity’ of being the head of The WWE, which , acording to her opponents , supposedly has less dignity than the United States Senate.

There are  two reasons for this feeling!

1. Because the wrestlers, as a group,  never got together and demanded that we put the title “The Honorable” in front of their names … a title which proves to our Senators that they are honorable  AND 

 2. Mitch “Death Angel” McConnell

 just doesn’t sound right!

The current front runner for The Democrats in Connecticut is on very shaky ground


 He is the current Attorney general of Connecticut , Richard Blumenthal who, as The Boston Globe wrote today,  is suddenly in big trouble because (ahem) “he incorrectly said that he served in Vietnam” a number of times.


 I believe that when you , ahem, incorrectly say something like that, it’s called ‘lying’,  but we are  talking about a quote from The Globe, hence it became an ‘incorrect statement’. 

 Reminds me of the old joke,

 “I was at dinner with my wife.

I meant to say ‘Pass the salt’,

but it came out, ‘You bitch, you ruined my life!”.

  I understand his problem.

I can’t tell you how many people I have talked to who mistake the July 4th fireworks in Darien for The Tet Offensive …. and  Danbury for The Mekong Delta  



I’m thinking about running for office in Connecticut myself and I hope my experience as a Gold Medalist in the Olympics, my three walks on the Moon, and  my gallant service in The War of 1812 mean something to the voters.


 The people are speaking and in Connecticut they’re saying   

“Are you ready to RUM-BLE!!!!!!!!!”


Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s new best girlfriend

So Obama nominates a “Lainie”  for The Supreme Court ,
Lainie Kagan.
No, that ain’t her.
That’s Lainie Kazan whose birthday coincidentally  is today, May 15th.
 This is the nominee, Elena Kagan.
 Gertrude Berg redux 
That’s not so bad actually. Gertrude Berg, whom probably 3% of you ever heard of, was a major media force from the 1920’s on radio through to 1962.  She died in 1966 when, I believe, she acccidentally ingested one of my mother’s matzohballs.
Most of the time , women outlive their men, but in her case, her husband  lived another 20 years. He probably enjoyed the quiet.
There’s an old joke about the kid who comes home from Hebrew School and proudly tells his parents over dinner  that he got a role in the school play .
 His mom asks , “What role did they give you?”.
The kid responds, “I play the role of the Jewish husband.”.
His dadasks, “How come they didn’t give you a speaking role?”
  I can imagine the upcoming Kagan confirmation herrings, er  hearings since its so hard for the ‘Pubs to find something she’s written or decided.
 She’ll handle it….
“Tutelah, who care’s if you’re orange?
 So they won’t stop abortions. Here, have some soup. We’ll talk , you’ll vote and by the way, I have to ask , why are you orange? Who do you think you are changing skin color, Michael Johnson?”
The hearings should be interesting as the Republican’s push their Marxist agenda with their Marxist motto  ,
 Whatever it is, I’m against it 
 as sung by Mr. Marx himself  (above) in “Horsefeathers”
 If they can’t find any bad stuff, they’ll harp on the fact that she didn’t say much and that they can’t find anything. See, ‘harp’ing…. 
 more Marxism !

But I guess silence can be golden. It’s worth noting that their favorite Great Black Dope, Sooo-preme Court Justice  Clarence Thomas has yet to say even a single word from the bench in the 20 years he’s been on it .

Rumor has it that he did once.
In 1999 at a meeting , after 8 years on the bench, he finally said two words, “Bench Hard” and legend has it that Justice Rehnquist told him to stop bitching all the time.
He’s been quiet ever since
It should be great theater as my favorite flock of self-serving spineless , boneless chickens  aka The US Senate, grills her intensely .
Reminds me of the old joke about the old Jewish lady who asks the kosher butcher for a chicken.  
He hands her a dead , skinned chicken…
and she proceeds to sniff  under the chicken’s wings, opens it beak and sniffs,  and then turns it over  and sniffs it’s crotch.
She hands it back to the butcher and says in her Yiddish accent, “I don’t want this chicken. It’s rotten!”
The butcher takes it back and says,
“No problem Lady , just one question…could you pass that test?”
Good morning, Senator…could you ?

Is the President “A Serious Man”

There seems to be a major concern that President Obama doesn’t go to church very much.

 If there was ever a true cause for alarm, America,  this is it!

It was even a Page 1 story in The Boston Globe today !

Turns out that Obama has only gone to official church  4 x since he’s been president which, in my opinion, was a waste of four good Sunday mornings when he could have been schnuggling and schtupping Michelle.

He’s also gone a few times to the Chapel at Camp David to “think and pray ” in solitude.

 “I’ll be alone with God for a few minutes and want no interruption….and does anyone have a match as I’d like to light a votive while there”.

 I believe that visits to  The Men’s Room at Camp David should count too.

Why? Because Obama  was told directly by his predecessor that the Men’s Room at Camp David really worked to talk to God .

Even though  Bush’s aides, quietly and privately, later  explained to Obama that what Bush thought was a Morse code message from God himself was simply former Idaho Republican senator Larry Craig (he of the ‘wide stance when sitting ” )

tapping away with his feet from the next stall, the legend continues. 

But, to be fair to Obama ,The White House wants  you to know  (this is true) that each day he reads a Daily Devotional which his aides attach to his Blackberry.

The last one read , “he who happy smiles forever” and on the back of it, much to Obama’s surprise. was

“winning rotto numbers” and “Learn Chinese”, showing the Chinese word for ‘rettuce’. 

I’m not a religious man, but God help us when this crap matters !


Palin comparison

During the 2004 election for President, George W debated his rival, John Kerry.

Everyone seemed to notice a large bulge in the jacket of W’s suit which everybody who hated him figured was a receiver giving him answers to the hard questions like “Hurricane Katrina is to New Orleans like The Johnstown Flood is to what city in Pennsylvania?. 

 I’m not sure it was working because his answer was Omaha“.

But the controversy was everywhere and it’s sad to note that things haven’t changed for the Republicans, even six years later.

For example, at the ‘600 people in attendance” Teabag convention

 in Nashville last week, Sarah Palin gave the keynote address (see post below)

and it has been well observed by all that she had crib notes written on the palm of her hand, so she could answer the tough questions.

Big deal !  All politicians use notes!

For example, she wrote the word “taxes” on her palm. Nothing wrong with that except that she used that note to answer the audience question,

 “What state is 2nd biggest after Alaska?’

Another phrase on her palm was  “lift American spirits”. This sadly was a ‘reminder ‘ note from Todd, her husband, on “What kind of cigarettes  she should shoplift at the 7-11.”

So please , before you judge, give Sarah a brake, for God’s sake.

Published in: on February 9, 2010 at 1:20 pm  Leave a Comment  
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