It takes two, Baby!

America loves it’s talented and famous duo’s 

Batman and Robin
 Fat Man and Little Boy, 
Abbott and Costello,
 The Captain and Tenille
Julius and Ethel Rosenberg
, ……the list goes on and on.
Now , thanks to President Obama   we have a new and terrific pairing for a new century.

Ladies and Gentlemen ,

 give it up for  “Al Sharpton and Newt”

That’s right , out of 300 million possibilities, Obama selects these two polarizing douchebags to surge forward together, like opening the sewers of Camden to wash out the city ….these mouthes that roared….. to spearhead  his  ‘stay in school’ iniative . 
Gee, Rahm Emmanuel and Osama Bin Laden must have been too busy to serve on the team.
And so, like spraying broccoli with Tinactin to get kids to eat their vegetables,
Obama selects the most vile combination of bullshit and ammonia  that he possibly could. 


 Hmmm, now , where did I put that large vomit bucket???
Listening to either of them can make anyone nauseaus and put that spinal chill up your back……, put them together and it’s  “The Fingernails on a Blackboard” serenade.
I could spend years writing about that phony, media-hungry, big-mouthed, anti-semitic fool Sharpton but I’ll leave that to the great Tom Wolfe who used Sharpton so well to define and satirize everything that’s wrong with the media ….using him as the model for his Harlem- based preacher in  “The Bonfire of the Vanities”,
OR  I’ll leave it to the police that Sharpton falsely accused in The Tawana Brawley episode, ‘lo these many years ago, that first brought him to fame.
…. but it’s easier to  simply move on to  Newt GinGRINCH from this past week’s news …..
in which The Newt-ster basically thanked Obama for the appointment  by calling him “ “the most radical president in American history” who oversees a “secular, socialist machine.”
GinGRINCH knows better.
But he’s a political animal at the top of the food chain; one who drops huge turds into the eco-sysystem and can’t think about anything but eating some more , even from  the hand that feeds him a public position.  
The Newt-Meister has a Ph.D in History and , believe me, he knows there is no religious test for public office in the United States. Hearing him call the presidency secular, Obama should publicly say, “Thank you, Newt, for the compliment.” 
If Newt were Afghani, he’d being thanking the Taliban for a job well done telling them the danger of a secular presidency.
Knewt knows better,. but he don’t give a noot, er, hoot!
 Obama should have known better too.
 Next time , Obama, do a better job and pick two that we all really like and respect, an inter-racial duo who can inspire us to greatness without hypocrisy. 

Gimme that ol’ time religion

Nine alleged members of a Christian militia were arrested 

the other day as they girded up for battle against some non-Christian forces, like those well-known anti-Christians, the police .


Their goal, in the name of Christianity, was to kill a cop and then blow up many, many more at the police officer’s funeral.

 Sadly, Jesus didn’t exactly apply for membership in the group.

 What seems to have set them off is the new Healthcare law which , for all it’s goofy flaws, has a stated purpose of caring for everybody ; something  which Jesus probably would have approved of…..He being his brother’s keeper and a rather caring individual, what with taking over the family business and all.  So, in the name of Jesus , these creeps are angry as hell because they’d have to take care of their brothers and sisters.

 And so, once again, the total illogic of religion comes to mind.

 It’s a big week for religions of all sorts..

 For example, yesterday was the first day of Passover when Jews are reminded that there was ,in fact, a great leader of men …..named  Cecil B. DeMille who directed  The Ten Commandments. the 1956 flick starring the one and only Charlton Heston as Moses who led the Jews from Egypt ……..who then trumped around  for forty years in a teeny tiny geographical area before stumbling on The Promised Land which was maybe forty five miles away from where they started. Hence we learn that the Jews were never good with directions.

  I went to a non-denominational ‘seder’ last night because I will sit through anything for briskit. We went through the usual bullshit. The seder has been updated recently since a) the Jews now control Jerusalem for which we prayed to return to ; the traditional ending of the seder being  “Next year in Jerusalem” and b) we all recognized that the Jews are are no longer slaves, unless you’re one who invested with Bernie Madoff.

 We were also  reminded that it isn’t just us that we are ‘seder’ing’ for, but for all the people who are controlled by others and forced to live a crappy  life under the control of others, without ever mentioning  the poor Palestinians who are 2nd class citizens in their own land because Israel is a land grabbing theocracy. But again, it’s the briskit that matters!

 And on that note, it’s Catholic Holy Week

, or as this year’s motto clearly states, “Lets put the rat back in Ratzinger”. 


Yep, Pope BendaDICK, (the former Cardinal Ratzinger and head pederast), commented that the Milwaukee perversions on deaf boys by that creepy son of a bitch priest, now deceased, in America’s Dairyland was just a “frivolous rumor”. He said this because, after carefully reading the scriptures, he realized that he’s the bastard who covered it all up. 

Hmmm, maybe the Pope’s team, his men in black 

 should, instead of raping kids, masturbate more often. Take the pressure off, so to speak.

I sent them a slogan for this year’s Easter Parade,

“Let’s put the Palm back in Palm Sunday”,

but I never heard a word back.

They must be busy coloring eggs.