The College Season begins

I write this on the behalf of “The Oppressed” , America’s college professors.

  According to The Chronicle of Higher Education”, not to be mixed up with “High Times”, “Faculty members in the University of North Texas’ College of Public Affairs and Community Service have new work rules this year. They are required to spend at least four hours a day, four days a week on campus, on top of the time they spend in the classroom, under a policy adopted last week.”

 

 This is an unspeakable tragedy, not so different from Asian 4 year olds making your sneakers for 2 cents an hour. Be concerned , please!.

Why be concerned ? Because, yes, I am a college graduate. I have a Masters Degree. Hence I have taken some unpaid  time to research the impact of such a policy and this means that those poor oppressed professors will be on campus an additional 16 hours a week.

I think?

 I only got a D in the basic math course I had to take., let’s see 4 hours a day x 4 days equals….well, it was basic math

This tragic turn of events  already has some of the professors upset. “Shahla Ala’i-Rosales, an associate professor of behavior analysis who studies early intervention for children with autism, said she and most of her colleagues already spend more than 16 hours on campus. She worries, though, that the new requirement doesn’t allow enough scheduling flexibility for researchers like herself, who spend much of their time doing research in the community.”

 And who on her home planet could blame her for bitching.

Not me .I can’t blame the professors for grumbling. I mean , you can’t have work interfering with the time you’re paid for, can you? .

 Oh wait…. she isn’t a researcher ! She’s a professor, an educator, a teacher…and with 86% of the students at this school  being undergraduates, they need face time with their professors as opposed to the professors using the time to research.

 Here’s an idea. Stay late and research on your own time .

 Maybe if you do, you can come up with a really good  marketing plan for your school , like Drake University did, and they’ll reward you with less time on campus.

 

 Drake started a new marketing program to lure students to their web and since Drake starts with a ‘D’, they named their new major marketing program “D+”.

 That should lure in the elite.

 This is like a marketing campaign for laxative saying “Tastes Like Shit” .

 

 Might I suggest that, should you go to Drake, don’t major in Marketing.

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A degree of difference makes all the difference!

There’s a DEGREE of  trouble in Pakistan these days.

 Seems that the former ruler, Pervez Musharraf, got a law passed that demanded all legislators have at least a Bachelors degree. In order to comply, and  legislators being legislators, they just made up a bunch of bullshit and pretended they had degrees, many of which came from Moslem seminaries, which in Pakistan  equals a Bachelors degree.

 

So help me, the chief minister of the state of Baluchistan, not to be mixed with Franistan or ‘StantheMan’ Musial 

, screamed at reporters in his own defense,  A degree is a degree! Whether fake or genuine,it’s a degree! It makes no difference.” 

No offense to higher education, but he’s right.

To understand why , let’s cross the great Pacific

 and land in Los Angeles

  and learn what some US Law Schools , like LA’s Loyola, for example,  are doing……as shown by this article from  The Wall Street Journal last Tuesday which was headlined (on the front page) “In Law School Grades Go Up, Just Like That”.

 Here, pretty much verbatim, are the first few paragraphs :

 

 “One day next month, every student at Loyola Law School in Los Angeles  will awake to a higher grade point average .But it’s not because they are working harder…. The school is retroactively inflating its grades , tacking 0.333 to every grade ….to make its students look more attractive in a competitive job market……In the last two years, at least 10 law schools  have deliberately changed their grading systems to make them more lenient….including, NYU, … Georgetown, and Tulane”.

 

  Have you ever heard such a load of horseshit in your life????

Now you know where lawyers learn to be sleazy!

 Maybe they can all become legislators in backward and corrupt Islamic Pakistan .  

As the Loyola dean probably explained it,

 , “A grade is a grade. Whether fake or genuine, it’s a grade.  It makes no difference.”